Birthday Feels

Today is my birthday, and for a while now I have been in my feelings about it.  For as long as I can remember I’ve been a victim of “The Checklist” mentality.

By 25 I should have done this.

By 30 I should have had that.

By 35 I should have accomplished this.

By 40 I should have reached there.

And now at 45, I should have it all figured out.

Does anyone feel me on this? Whether it’s life, love, family, or career, I’m often worried why aren’t I there yet?   If you had asked me 20 years ago where I would be today, my plans were quite different.  Things rarely go as planned.
IMG-7799I am not really sure why I am so emotional about this birthday,  I love birthdays!  Maybe because I’m getting older and the boxes that should have been checked are not checked off of my checklist. For the last few weeks, my tendency to feel anxious about what’s next, or what I’ve missed out on, who I should have let in, and who I should have kicked out, and all those funny feelings, has been at an all-time high.  I am doing the suggested self-talk, I am saying my prayers,  and I am vibing with good people who are pouring into me.  All the things I think I should be doing, but those funny feelings don’t want to subside.
IMG_7762.jpgSo what I’ve decided to do with the rest of my years, months, days and minutes is just live one step at a time.  I’m getting rid of the “woulda, coulda shouldas” and the “by this ages” and the “I’m too old for thats” and doing my best to simply live.  Moving forward, I want to live in complete gratitude.  To be grateful for all the beautiful people in my life, my experiences both good and bad, the days that may have broken my heart and those that were full of sunshine. IMG-7817So, as I grow one year older I am thankful for whatever this year brings. Instead of being anxious about what’s next, I  am looking forward to this year to be one of the greatest yet in full anticipation of the very best!

T-shirt: JCrew (here)

Jeans: Lucky Brand from Macy’s (similar here)

7 thoughts on “Birthday Feels

  1. Just beautiful! I love it and I love your attitude. Happy birthday beautiful friend. Keep on sprinkling love and sunshine into everyone you touch. That’s exactly what life is supposed to teach us. Thank you for the thoughtful reminders. Keep smiling and living your best life.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey Dawn I think taking life one day at a time is wise. Time goes by rather fast rather you want it to or not!

    It’s so easy to let your feelings catch you up in ways that are unexpected. People who are high achievers tend to beat themselves up when they aren’t where they expect to be. Sometime life has a funny way of saving us from ourselves. Anything you truly want doesn’t always come in the packages we think they should. That’s why you have to keep your heart and mind open. Happy Birthday my sweet girl, nobody deserves happiness more than you. Remember you don’t have to choose your career over love you can have both!!
    Love ya mama!


Leave a Reply to Dawn Ellerbe Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s