Sit Down and Be Quiet!

Society:  You’re too big, please make yourself as plain and muted as possible to atone.
Me:  Puts on hot pink dress and struts even harder.IMG_6336

Shhhhhh!  You are supposed to be seen and not heard.  Time and time again there is usually someone trying to shush women, especially big women, and damn it… don’t be a big, black woman. Then you better move with the silence of a panther cat unless you offend someone with your mere presence, stand up and someone one gestures for you to have a seat.  Speak up and be told to be quiet.  Live out loud and be questioned for every move you make.  Nah….bump that I am too tired to sit down and be quiet. IMG_8118 2A little while ago a woman sent me a message on IG that said something like, “I never saw my self until I saw you”.  WHAT?  She explained how growing up she was an amazing athlete but didn’t see any images of anyone that looked like her.  She saw my image in a magazine and realized there were women out there that were excelling in sports that looked like her!


Thank you, Howard Shatz and Sports Illustrated. I am thankful I found a sport that celebrated my size.  The last time I competed was in 2004 and since then it’s been a struggle to just BE and appreciate for all of ME. My concern was so long thinking about how other people would view me or what they would think.  Yes, I really cared whatever else thought.  But here’s a novel idea, what if we really saw ourselves? Like really saw ourselves the way those closet to us see us. I don’t mean in an approval or validating seeking way, I mean the positive way those around us see us, support us, and lift us. I have some amazing, talented, brilliant people in my life, and they see my talent and brilliance too.  I know this, because they tell me every chance they get how amazing and brilliant and talented I am, and birds of a feather flock together. Why let negative outside influences take all this positive energy away from us?  IMG_7027 2

She (stranger) said I was uunattractive.
He (stranger) said I was too big.
They (more miserable strangers) said I was too dark, the others (even more miserable than the first strangers  said I was too light.
He left.
She left.
They (the miserables again) ignored me.IMG_6302

It’s enough to make us crazy, but friends we are not gonna let it!  Repeat after me!  I am talented, brilliant and amazing.  What “they” say is about them and has nothing to do with me. Now I hope you said it out loud, like really loud.  I hope you said it “Shhh” worthy loud, and then say it again!IMG_9111When I was younger, I used to laugh at friend that would say “IDGAF” about what “they” have to say about me.  How could they not care what the “People” might say?  I wish some of the IDGAF would have rubbed off on me about 25 years ago.  I would have saved my self a lot of unnecessary worries and poor choices, insecurities, and bad decisions. IMG_4119But one thing or things I do care about is enjoying the last days of summer and maxi dresses that are actually maxi. This wrap dress from Rachel Pally hits the spot and I feel beautiful, loud bold and beautiful while wearing it!

I’ve included a few of my favorite Rachel Pally Maxis below. These are available up to 3x and the provide the extra length the tall ladies may need.


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