The other day I was driving and reflecting, and an incredible sense of serenity and peace came over me, followed by an overwhelming feeling of gratitude. I can’t explain it but at that moment I knew that what I had been struggling with for quite some time now was over. I had an understanding of why it was over and why that was the best thing for my new beginning.
I am at a point in my life, “mid-life”, where nothing and everything begins to make sense. Why things didn’t work out, why they shouldn’t have worked out and as much as I wanted them to work out, I received a big bold NO! This sense of peace is related to a number of different experiences but at that moment riding in my car, that peace covered them all with the kind of calmness that left me unbothered.
Have you ever gone through something that you thought might break you? The pain was brutal, the struggle left you hopeless, and the fear of “what’s next” was almost crippling. And while those that loved your tried to help and comfort you, it seemed like you were in it alone?
Somehow you found the strength to beat the pain, forge through the struggle, and face the fear of whatever was “next”. Who on earth knows “what’s next” anyway? You dug deep and did the work. You faced the ugly truth and sometimes it was downright hideous. This work reminded you of your strength, your power, and your abilities to get through it. We all have our “it”. You reflected and realized what the situation was and while it was painful, and ugly and real…You are better now than you have been in years.
There were moments of pure joy that replaced the tears. Love is dancing in your heart where sadness once lived, but above all, above ALL, you are getting back to being you. For whatever reason, you got lost along the way, but YOU are back! You know what you are capable of, you believe you are unstoppable, and what was meant to break you has set you up an incredible “what’s next”. I hope YOU never get lost again!
We all, I’ll say most because there few absolutes, go through things that can be devastating. “I am not sure if I can make it” things, “I just want to give up” things. And then one day you get over it, you may not understand why or how, or recognize how you even got here, but you’re here and you’re over it. Your sitting in your car overcome by serenity and peace, and gratitude. You are shouting “Thank you” at the top of your lungs. You are not mad anymore, you are not sad anymore, the tears are dry. The sun is hitting you a little different and your smile is a bit brighter, and you breathe. You are now simply thankful for the lesson.As I think back, I hope I didn’t scare anyone walking by that day when I was screaming “Thank you GOD” over and over at the top of my lungs. I don’t think I ran any stop signs or ran anyone off the road, I can’t recall. I wish I could fully explain my feeling on that day or bottle it up and share it with you, but I can’t. What I can do is wish you love through all of your battles, and a sense of peace and calmness as you do the work. 
On another note, part of this journey includes being comfortable in a two-piece bathing suit, like the one featured in this post, I got this one from Target, but I see its sold out in plus online (sorry). I love the suit for the beach but for walking around town, I found this cute mesh cover-up from Ashely Stewart. This one is sold out as well, but I found a few similar options that may work.
Dee Ellerbe 